CUSP: Climbing Up the Spiral Pathway

Having mulled our spark of an idea from December through February, we now enter into the time of confirmation and redirect.  Magic, of course, does not honor linear time, so although these are power days where we mark our turn of the spiral, it is by no means an exact science.  You may start to get confirmations and redirects as soon as that spark hits your head and passes your lips into reality.  You may not hear a thing from the Universe about your intentions until a few weeks after planting.  As humans, we like things tidy and predictable, but the Universe does not see fit to run on our schedule.

I remember one year, I had planted 3 things and since that was around 10 years ago, I can’t remember exactly what they were, being old and gray as I now am.  I planted my physical little beans to represent the goals, tucked into a peat pot and growing nicely.

I placed the peat pots up on a high shelf where they would get sunlight, watered them every other day or so and gave them plenty of love and encouragement.  They grew into sweet little bean plants, fragile and new.  One day in mid-April when they were around 6-7 inches above the ground, I came in one day to find my two-year-old eating my bean plants.  The dirt was strewn all over the carpet and he was happily munching away on the leaves of my precious magical beans. 

My 6th son was a very, very “busy” child, as some on the child care industry would say.  Pulling up my plants by the roots (having snagged them from a shelf that I had to reach up to access during a 3 minute bathroom break was less of a freak experience and more of an hourly event, right up there with polluting the turtle’s water with cayenne pepper, an eraser, a butter knife and a bottle of Stacker 2 (the old kind WITH ephedra).  He was fast and he was determined and he was creative.

Since this was around event #14 of that particular day involving Nathan and some potentially tragic activity, I sat down in the middle of the dirt and cried.  He had already nommed off the bean carcass from wence my plants had sprung, along with a good bit of the roots.  I had some stems left and a leaf or three.  Still a blubbered while I tried to scoop dirt back into the peat pot and he sat on the couch and looked content. 

When it became clear that A) the beans could not be re-generated and B) this child had forsaken his daily nap, seemingly forever, I tossed the whole thing in the trash and decided to take some time that night to think on it.  Goddess knows the mother of a two-year-old cannot take time to *think* when in the child’s presence because there is only ever time to *react* when the child is a Nathan-sort.

Finally, he got to sleep that night and I tried to shake the frustration of the day off of my too-elderly-to-have-children-anyway psyche and get to the “root” of the problem, as it were.  Meditating showed me that this had happened because I had planted the wrong thing.  In retrospect, I could see a subtle redirect here and there which I had chosen to dismiss at the time.  I needed to rethink my goals for the year and redefine what and who I wanted to be at harvest.  For whatever reason, what I had planted and started to give life was inappropriate at that time.

I’d had a spiritual miscarriage.

I went back to the spark and retooled it in my mind a bit, coming up with a set of goals that while similar, were more in keeping with the direction my life seemed to be heading of its own accord.  I replanted the beans, moved them to the kitchen window sill and they grew more quickly than any beans I have ever seen.  (Although Eric’s from this year have grown for a longer period of time.  Ye Gods, the thing is STILL vibrant and flourishing)  They quickly caught up to the size of Eric’s and I felt back on task again.  My goald manifested beautifully and worked out far better than had the original goals come to fruition.

Right now, at a time when, by the CUSP calender, the earth is warming and starting the process of becoming nurturing and open for the planting, we are under snow and it is bitterly cold outside.  It is, in fact, likely colder than it has been all year.  We just came out of an unseasonably warm snap which allowed us to have our Winter Solstice ceremony out in the Earth Labyrinth.  This is one of the main reasons why it is important to key our magical workings into the energy of the time rather than what we see outside or feel with our skin.  Each year is different and we have to go with what feels right in terms of the energy.  We have often delayed our planting for several weeks just because the energy didn’t feel right with 10″ of hard packed snow on the ground.  Other times, Eric would pick axe through the snow to dig a hole to plant, just because the energy DID feel right.  Follow what your spirit is telling you to do.  Sometimes, a delay means that you have not yet received all of the confirmations or redirects or even slight retooling nudges you needed before time to plant. 

This is the time to pay close attention to the underlying messages of things you see and events that take place in your life.  There will be omens and portents everywhere and it is crucial that we keep our third eye open and alert for the guidance of the Universe in relation to the goals we have set for ourselves to manifest at Harvest. 

One of the biggest favors we can do for ourselves, although it seems counterproductive when you look at the big picture of what we do, is to disengage ourselves from the outcome of the goal(s) we have set.  Often, if we are eagerly invested in the manifestation of the goals at this point in the process, we can intentionally overlook redirects that we very much need to see.

This of this process of manifestation as a pregnancy.  “Imbolc,” the ancient Gaelic word for this time, literally translates to “in the belly.”  This is the point where you have just learned that you are pregnant, but are hesitant to tell anyone or make solid plans until you are sure the baby is viable.  Metaphorically speaking, don’t rush out and furnish your nursery and set up a college fund as soon as you get a positive test result.  Start buying onesies and stocking up on tiny Pampers along about Summer Solstice.

This year, as I mentioned in the Winter Solstice entry, I have chosen to spend the Harvest year working on some very needed weight loss.  Eric is planting to find a career that sustains us, but also feeds his passion (whatever that is).  Basically, he wants to love what he does for a living and up until now, he just hasn’t.  Jennifer is planting a successful career that allows her to live on her own without having to depend on roommates to pay a portion of the rent. 

I don’t want to speak to the feelings of others about their experience thus far, but mine is going very, very well.  Rather than wait until the planting, I got started right away and have had a wonderful experience for the most part, which I take as a joyful confirmation of the timing of this incredible endeavor.  Through diet and (near) daily exercise, I have lost 11 pounds since January 5th when I got started on the task.  I intend to lose another 90+ pounds by Winter Solstice of 2009. 

I did not go into this spark with much enthusiasm, having tried and failed (literally) countless times.  Choosing my goal by default simply because I wasn’t getting sparked by anything else seemed fairly lame, but as it turned out, the timing was perfect and all of the factors have fallen into place perfectly to make this happen.  I am now nearly breathless with excitement over the prospect of finally being rid of this excess weight and going into the second half of my life (I plan to live a very, very long time, people, so warm up to that idea) as half the person I was before.  Mind you, I have not overlooked the fact that I just told all of you to not invest heavily into the harvest outcome just yet and the hypocrisy of this looms over me menacingly.  I haven’t bought a layette yet… just maybe a booty or two.  (This baby has come after YEARS of metaphoric fertility treatments and is VERY wanted)

Best of luck with your confirmation and redirect period.  Stay alert!